


I’m Not Fucking Éowyn

by thewriterofperfectdisasters



Series: Shameless Halloweenie [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: (this is so bad omg), Future Fic, M/M, References to Lord of the Rings, Shameless Halloween, and my 'mickey loves lotr' headcanon continues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-01
Updated: 2014-10-01
Packaged: 2018-02-19 12:21:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2388050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewriterofperfectdisasters/pseuds/thewriterofperfectdisasters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘You’re such a fucking nerd, Mick.’<br/>‘Says the guy dressed as an elf.’<br/>‘Says the guy who suggested we go as characters from <i>Lord of the Rings</i> in the first place.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m Not Fucking Éowyn

**Author's Note:**

> So. I have a headcanon that Mickey is a total nerd and loves Lord of the Rings. Which you can also see illustrated through basically the entire fic I wrote where they come to New Zealand (yay!) and Mickey goes full nerd and starts speaking in Elvish all the time. (lol whoops)
> 
> And before you ask; yes. I was listening to the soundtrack when I wrote this. (Very good study music, just fyi. Literally got me through my final year of high school.)

‘I think you would suit Gimli.’

‘You’ve got to be joking.’

‘No? You’re short.’

‘Yeah, and you’re the fucking redhead, asshole.’

‘I really don’t have enough time to grow a beard, Mick.’

‘And _I_ do?’

‘Well,’ Ian said with a shrug. ‘You’re certainly better looking with a beard than I am.’

‘Hell yeah I am,’ Mickey grinned. ‘If I’m Gimli, then who the fuck’re you? Legolas?’

‘Yup.’

‘So you have enough time to grow your hair, but not a beard?’

‘Have you heard of this thing called a wig?’ Ian asked, elbowing him in the ribs. ‘It’s like a hat covered with fake hair.’

‘Ha fucking ha. If you’re Legolas, then I’m Aragorn.’

‘Oh hell no. You’re not tall enough.’

‘Fuck you, man. I’m gonna be Aragorn, because you _know_ there was sexual tension between them.’

‘Oh?’ Ian raised an eyebrow incredulously. ‘You want to go to Mandy’s Halloween party dressed as two characters with a little bit of sexual tension?’

‘Yup.’

Ian thought about it for a second. ‘Aragorn.’

‘Aragorn,’ Mickey agreed. ‘Preferably not with that sexy velvet turtleneck from _Return of the King_ though.’

Ian frowned and paused looking through the array of costumes they had found online. ‘But if you wear that turtleneck, you get a crown as well!’

‘Yeah, and you get a fucking tiara, elf boy.’

‘What if I want a tiara?’

Mickey blinked. ‘ _Do_ you want a tiara?’

‘Dunno,’ Ian shrugged. ‘Guess we’ll never find out.’

‘Good, because your ass would look great in those tights,’ Mickey mused, pointing vaguely at one of the Legolas pictures onscreen. ‘Like, _really_ great.’

‘Oh, please. My ass looks great in everything.’

Mickey nodded. ‘True.’

‘So we’re doing this?’ Ian asked. ‘You’re gonna be Aragorn, and I’ll be Legolas, and we’re gonna go to Mandy’s party and start making out or something?’

Mickey grinned. ‘I guess.’

‘Promise?’

‘Promise.’

 

* * *

 

‘This is so weird,’ Ian said, pulling at the tights that had ridden up and jammed itself in his asscrack. ‘What the fuck is going on with these fucking things.’

Mickey shrugged. ‘Butt action.’

‘Butt action.’

‘Yup.’

‘That all you’re going to say?’

‘For now,’ Mickey replied, twisting the ring on his finger. ‘You know, I actually kinda like this.’

‘Like what?’ Ian asked, frowning.

Mickey held up his hand and wiggled his fingers, the light glinting off the jewel in the ring on his index finger. ‘The ring.’

‘That particular ring? Or just, y’know. Wearing a ring in general?’

‘My response is open to interpretation.’

Ian grinned. ‘Alright. My hair look okay?’ he asked, swishing the platinum blonde wig around.

‘You kinda suit it...’ Mickey said, tilting his head.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah, man. Kinda hot.’

Ian rolled his eyes. ‘Of course you’ve got a hard on for the elves.’

Mickey clicked his tongue. ‘What can I say, man. Looks like there’s just something about the ears? Or the braids...’

Ian briefly touched the sides of his head to make sure the braids were still in place. He had looked up on the internet how to do those little braids that Legolas had, and it had taken several attempts and a few tantrums to get them right. ‘The braids? Seriously?’

‘Don’t mean we’re gonna do each other’s hair or nothing. I’m just saying.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Ian said. He picked up his bow and quiver from the table and slung them over his chest. ‘Ready to go?’

‘Yup,’ Mickey nodded. ‘I wish I could’ve gotten a replica of Andúril for this.’

‘You’re such a fucking nerd, Mick.’

‘Says the guy dressed as an elf.’

‘Says the guy who suggested we go as characters from _Lord of the Rings_ in the first place.’

‘Fuck off, you –’

‘– know how much you like those movies. Yeah, I’ve realised,’ Ian said, gesturing to his outfit.

Mickey grinned. ‘You know you love it.’

‘That is nobody’s business but my own,’ Ian shrugged. ‘We really need to go, Mick, or Mandy will have our heads.’

‘Yeah,’ Mickey sighed, looking his boyfriend over once more. ‘I suppose.’

 

* * *

 

‘Welcome to the Milkovich Apartment of Ho– _oh my god_ ,’ Mandy stopped midsentence, seeing her brother and best friend outside her door. ‘Did you guys get lost on your way to a renaissance fair or something?’

‘Fuck off, Mandy,’ Mickey said, shoving his sister (artfully dressed as Little Red Riding Hood in a mini skirt) out of the way and finding himself a beer.

‘Hey,’ Ian greeted.

‘The fuck is on your head, Ian?’ Mandy asked, tentatively reaching out to touch the hair.

‘I’m Legolas, obviously.’

‘And who the fuck is Mickey?’

‘Uh... Aragorn.’

Mandy blinked. ‘I’ll pretend I know who that is.’

‘Probably best if you do,’ Ian agreed, stepping inside the apartment to find his boyfriend.

Mickey was standing by the snacks, glowering at everyone who walked past him and gave him a weird look. His face brightened slightly as he saw Ian walking towards him.

‘You okay, Mick?’ Ian asked.

‘I want my damn sword. Or even a fucking bow.’

‘Why?’

‘Completes the costume.’

‘You can borrow mine, if you like?’ Ian offered.

‘Nah,’ Mickey shook his head. ‘Too big. Doesn’t work.’

‘Yeah, well. It’s not the _size_ of the bow, it’s how you use it,’ Ian winked.

Mickey groaned. ‘Don’t say shit like that.’

‘For the record, I think you look pretty hot.’

‘Course I do. Aragorn, man.’

Ian nodded. ‘I get you.’

‘Ian! Mickey!’ Lip – dressed as a mad scientist? – greeted, striding over to talk with them. ‘What are you guys meant to be? Legolas and... Éowyn?’

‘I’m not fucking Éowyn,’ Mickey growled and narrowed his eyes at Lip until he walked away with a roll of his eyes. ‘Your brother’s a dumbass, Ian.’

‘I know,’ Ian sighed, putting a placating hand on his waist. ‘You wanna steal some snacks and sit under the table like little kids?’

‘You wouldn’t fit under the table.’

‘I could always lie there.’

‘Um. No,’ Mickey said.

‘Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. I’m going to get a drink,’ Ian smiled, kissing his cheek and going into the kitchen.

Mickey ate a few bits and pieces from the selection of snacks, and turned to see where Ian had gone, because there was no way in hell it would take him almost ten minutes to get a drink. He popped his head into the kitchen to see Ian talking and laughing with a guy. A guy who was obviously flirting. Mickey didn’t even have that great of a gaydar, yet Ian’s was on point and he didn’t seem to realise what was going on? Mickey narrowed his eyes and walked into the kitchen, putting an arm around Ian’s waist.

‘Oh, hey,’ Ian smiled, bumping his hip into Mickey. ‘Mick, this is..?’

‘Vin,’ the guy supplied, giving Ian a million watt grin.

‘Vin, this is my boyfriend, Mickey,’ Ian introduced. ‘Sorry it took so long, babe. Me and Vin bonded over the cranberry juice.’

Vin’s smile had dimmed slightly after Ian introduced Mickey, and he cleared his throat. ‘I should... go...’

‘Okay, nice to meet you!’

‘Yeah, you too,’ Vin said quickly, turning and floating somewhere towards the dance floor.

‘Were you flirting with him?’ Mickey asked bluntly, looking up to Ian.

‘God no,’ Ian said, wrinkling his nose. ‘Not my type. Too... muscled. Like, steroid-y muscled.’

‘Good,’ Mickey said, before he could stop himself. He slipped his Aragorn ring off and held it out to Ian. ‘Hold this for a second?’

‘Uh...’

‘Bathroom. Don’t wanna get it wet or something,’ Mickey said, shoving his beer and ring at Ian, and going off towards Mandy’s bathroom. (Which he did actually have to use.) When he came back a few minutes later, Ian had put it on his ring finger, and was looking curiously at it. ‘You good there, Gallagher?’

Ian looked up and blushed. ‘Oh. Sorry,’ he said going to take the ring off. ‘I didn’t –’

‘Leave it,’ Mickey said quietly. ‘Leave it on.’

‘What?’

‘I mean... If you want to.’

Ian blinked. ‘You want me to wear the ring? On this finger?’

Mickey shrugged. ‘If you want.’

‘As an “I’m taken” kind of thing, or another kind of thing?’

‘The other kind of thing also means you’re taken, right?’

‘Well, yeah...’

‘Then it’s that kind of thing,’ Mickey said, taking his beer back and sipping it.

‘Okay,’ Ian said. ‘Is this you asking?’

‘No,’ Mickey said defensively.

Ian grinned. ‘I would say yes.’

Mickey’s tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip. ‘Maybe.’

Ian smiled knowingly, but didn’t say anything further on the subject.

‘Hey, uh,’ Ian’s face lit up as Mickey kicked lightly at his toes. ‘You wanna dance?’ Mickey asked, biting his lip, like he was scared Ian would say no, after the awkward almost-proposal.

‘You want to dance?’ Ian asked. ‘You. Dancing?’

‘Gotta get that sexual tension up, right?’ Mickey waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Ian just laughed, and dragged his dork of a boyfriend to the dance floor, marriage talks temporarily over, but not far from Ian’s mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Just in case you don't know: Andúril is the name of Aragorn's sword and Éowyn is the fantastic noblewoman from Rohan that famously makes that incredible face after saying "I am no man!" then charging the Witch King.


End file.
